The Plan, A Plea, and A Praise: Part 2
The moment it hit me that there was never an actual plan, yikes, talk about throwing me for a loop.
So if there isn't a plan ... What now?
Now if you've read any of my past blogs, you'll know that there was no excited "OK!" after that one.
That moment is like standing on the edge of a cliff, back towards the fall, just leaning back. And letting yourself fall.
I thought it would feel like a free fall.
Because all those times I've been trying to stick to the plan, that's what free fall feels like. Desperately trying to grasp something, anything, to stop. Sliding down the cliff, digging in your heels, hoping that by some miracle there is a bottom.
No, falling over the side of trust felt more like floating. Like gently being grasped in loving hands and slowly lowered.
I am still not sure what's at the bottom. And I am not even going to pretend that this is easy. There are still a few things I'm grasping at because I still really want them as part of this new non-plan. But, as I told my Bible study group the other day, I am learning to trust God, and not my plans, as my safety net. And I'm learning to be OK with that. There is a lot of learning going on.
Part of what I am learning is that God can handle me when I can't handle the non-plan.
Some of you know that one of my favorite Biblical heroes is David. The David who slayed Goliath. The David who was called a man after God's own heart. But also the David who cried out to God when he didn't understand what God was doing. When he thought he had the plan figured out, and then he realized he didn't. Go read the Psalms. David is pretty honest with God. Sometimes brutally so. But David usually follows that up with praise.
Psalm 35:17-18 is a great example.
"How long, Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my precious life from these lions. I will give you thanks in the great assembly; among the throngs I will praise you."A plea and a praise in one breath.
I'm working on that. God can handle my plea, but He is God and still deserves my praise.
So yeah, there never was a plan, really. But I am learning that all I really need is a plea and a praise.