The Story of Esther: Inspiration For Today
It's a small little button. All I have to do it click it once: commitment, done, out of my hands.
But I'm scared to click the button. What if I did something wrong? What if it's not enough? What if I don't get it? What then?
Those are the thoughts that are running through my mind as my cursor hovers over the submit application button on the Fulbright scholarship website. Remember how I told you that I plan to pursue a master's degree at the University of Leeds? Well, it's an expensive program. So I am apply for this scholarship which would cover most of the cost of my year in Leeds. It's a very competitive national scholarship. The process has been daunting. And those questions are very real for me.
Over the past few days, I have been reading the book of Esther. Esther is one of my Biblical heroes. She was just an ordinary girl - probably quite young, too. She is taken from her family and forced into a life that is far different from the one she was prepared for. She is asked to do a seemingly impossible task; a task that at first she does not want to do. To accomplish this task, she turns to God. She spends three days fasting and praying. And even though she doesn't know what the outcome will be, she trusts God enough to follow His direction.
Don't get me wrong, pressing the submit button for a scholarship is not the same as Esther risking her life to ask the Persian king for the lives of the Jews. Completely different. But the concept of turning to God, seeking His will, and trusting Him with the outcome is the same.
So when I go back to hit that submit button, I'm going to do it with confidence.
If I did something wrong, I did something wrong. If it's not enough, it's not enough. If I don't get it, I don't get it. What then? Then God.
He has a plan. He has a way. It might not be the one I see. It might involve some work. I don't know. But He does.
Just like Esther, I am going to bring my petition to God. My worries, my fears, and my plans.
In Esther's speech to Mordecai (Esther 4:16) , in which she instructs the Jews to fast before she goes to the king, we often focus on her famous words: "And if I perish, I perish." It is a bold statement. But before that, she uses the same words that many other characters all throughout the Bible use. Words that God wants to here today from me and from you.
"I will go."
Simple, implying trust.
"Ok, God. I will go through with this. Wherever this path leads, I will go."