The Grove: {It's A Love-Hate Relationship}

My thoughts on love and Valentine's Day for this week's word prompt at The Grove:

I have a love-hate relationship with Valentine's Day. Underneath the sensible veneer, I'm a romantic at heart. The realistic side of me just rarely let's it out. I'm a sucker for a good romance novel. I'll even admit to watching those cheesy Hallmark Chanel chick flicks. And enjoying them.

But at six months and five days shy of twenty-one years old, I've never been on a date. I've never had a Valentine. So you can see my dilemma, I'm a girl who loves love but doesn't have the romantic type in her life.

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of love in my life.

I have God who loved me so much He sent His Son to die for me, even when I didn't love Him back. Trust me, no man has ever offered me that. Or even come close. And no one ever will.

I have my family. My parents, they love me enough to let me go all the way to France for a year, even if they'd rather keep me close. My sisters, well, let's just say you should watch this clip from the movie White Christmas. The last lines, well you've been warned. I have aunts, uncles, cousins, and my Paw Paw who love me, too.

And I've got some great friends. My bestie. She's great, even if she has given me grief about leaving for a year. All my friends from home and school. And the new friends I'm making in France.

I have a lot of people who love and care about me.

But on a day like today, sometimes my heart wants just a little bit more. I want my own Prince Charming. Actually, I think I'd be OK with just a regular guy, especially if he surprised me with flowers (I'm partial to tulips. And sunflowers.). Or chocolate (I like it dark and a little bitter). Someone who makes me feel special. Like I'm the only girl in the world.

But warring with those thoughts is a reminder that really, that's not love. Love isn't a mushy feeling. Love is an action, directed at someone else. And if I'm honest, I'm not sure I'm ready for love.

Love is sacrificial. Love is submissive. Love is about the other person. And sure, along the way, the other person should feel the same way about me and do those things in return. But love isn't about what I get, it's about what I give.

So if I want it, but I'm not sure I'm ready for it, where does that leave me? Do I celebrate Valentine's Day? Am I going to proclaim it Single Awareness Day and throw myself a pity party?

I don't really know. What I do know is that I'm going to take time to thank God for all the love that He has blessed me with. If the love that surrounds me now is all I ever get, it would be way more than I ever deserved. But I think I'll also ask Him to help me learn what love really is, beyond the Disney fairy tales. Because if He ever sends Mr. Right my way, I'd hate to miss him because I'm looking for what I can get and not what I can give.


  1. Oh Elizabeth, I get this :)! I do! I also think that Hallmark has done such a number on emphasizing romantic love and missed the boat on emphasizing LOVE. Like you, I have lots of love in my life, but one of the limits God has placed is no romantic love :). I hate that I'm limited, don't you?!!! OK, maybe it's just me. And I don't mean that I'm limited in this way (I'm actually quite ok with my singleness) -- I mean limits in general. I want it all, baby! But this limit on this day reminds me I'm not God. Sadly, a reminder I need a lot!

    1. I totally understand Amy! Though I'm not quite sure I'm OK with singleness and sometimes God and I have long talks about whether this is a permanent situation or not. I'm learning to enjoy the blessings of it though; like the fact that I'm living in France this year (wouldn't have done that one if I was in a relationship). And yes, not having it all reminds me as well that I am not God.

  2. So glad you shared with us, Elizabeth. Love where you landed. I've found the antidote for any form of discontent in my own life is thankfulness, when we turn our eyes to all that He HAS given. Thanks for that reminder today. And you're right, love is so beyond the Disney fairy tales. For my daughter's sake, I appreciate that they've changed their angle a bit in the last couple movies, so that the ultimate apex in life is not finding a prince. :)

    1. Danielle, thank you! I have to say that it was a long thought out process to land where I did. Honestly, thinking about this day throughout the week left me struggling. And I'm glad your daughter will grow up with the new Disney. As much as I love the old fairy tales, I love seeing characters like Anna from Frozen and Merida from Brave. They're far from perfect and even though they're looking for love they learns about a lot of other things!


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